More Emphasis On The Bitch Part

Wikipedia's definition of Stitch 'n Bitch: Stitch 'n Bitch is a name used by knitting groups that meet on a weekly or monthly basis at locations throughout the world. This use of the term originates as early as the Second World War. Stitch 'n Bitch clubs are generally casual groups of knitters who meet in bars or cafes for socializing and sharing knitting advice.

Roadtripper's definition of Stitch 'n Bitch: a meetup event that sounded like a great idea at the time. Roadtripper accepted with visions of all the trendy scarves she would be knitting in no time. An hour's work resulted in a 3-inch fuzzy pencil warmer. When trying to create a second row, Roadtripper managed to successfully unravel half of her first row (the aforementioned pencil warmer) without realizing it. The second hour was spent untangling the mess that she had made and teasing host's cat with yarn. Roadtripper walked out of the Stitch 'n Bitch vowing to just buy herself a trendy scarf instead.

Christmas Cheer... By Jove, It Finally Hit Me!

I am a slow burn for the holiday season. I despise nothing more than seeing Santas being displayed in stores just past the Halloween costumes. The season hits entirely too soon for me. I like breaking rules on a lot of things but I turn in to a die-hard traditionalist when it comes to Yuletide. No decorations until the day after Thanksgiving. No shopping until Black Friday. No Christmas songs until the Advent calender gets broken out. It is simple math to me. There is no way to sustain enthusiasm for the holidays when you start months prior.

The weeks following Thanksgiving turn me in to a big ball of stress as I make lists and try to bargain shop. Bah Humbug! It is hard to feel the spirit of the season when battling long lines and crowded parking lots. But, as always, somewhere around the 22nd of the month, my spirits lift and I really start to dig Christmas.

Things that have put me in the Christmas spirit so far:

1. Over-done light displays on houses a la Clark Griswold

2. Any Christmas carol sung by Elvis

3. People out in public wearing Santa hats

4. The look on a friend's face when they aren't expecting a gift

5. The look on my face when new friends surprise me with a gift

6. The silly $5 or less gag gift I bought for my office Chinese auction.

7. That six hour drive to my parents' house tomorrow. Sure... traffic will probably suck and it is awfully cold and windy but I can't wait to see them again. Because, when it all comes down to it, they are what Christmas is all about!

Welcome to the Island: Val Kilmer Edition

One of many, many wonderful things about Roadtripper, Andrea, and I's island theory is that the hot men on our island, are always hot. Even, if in reality, they no longer are. A main case point is Val Kilmer:



Needless to say, he does not look like this anymore. I will not assault your eyes with visual proof, just take my word for it. But I don't have to worry, in my mind and on the island he is always Jim Morrison:



Hell, I even got a kick out of him as a tweaked out meth head in The Salton Sea:



He could turn into a late life Marlon Brando for all I care, Val Kilmer will always be my king, and on the island he can always be Iceman.

Welcome To The Island: Russell Crowe (But Only 90s Russell Crowe)

I used to drool over Russell Crowe. Seriously. I spent my multiple viewings of Gladiator making lewd comments.

Russell Crowe (as Maximus): Are you not entertained?

Me (on my couch): I would be more entertained if you took some clothes off.

Russell Crowe (as Maximus): My name is Gladiator.

Me: No... your name is Roadtripper's bitch. Take thee to my bedroom.

It is a sickness, I realize.

Being a Russell Crowe freak used to be easy. Most of his movies kicked ass, and even though his ego is about as large as the continent he hails from, the man actually does have serious acting chops.

Then he had to go get married. And got a little chubby. And started bitching about the pressures of Hollywood. And started hurling phones at people's heads.

And then Roadtripper kind of lost interest. Her sexy gladiator had become a bitchy middle-aged family man.

Yummy!

Not so yummy. Check please!

But I still love him (as long as him = the him from ten years ago). Welcome to the island, Russell Crowe. Just try to stay away from the phone.

"We're Supposed To Wear Silly Hats And Grow Tomatoes"

At least that is what my movie hero, Ouiser Boudreaux, says about Southern women.

Too bad my gardening thumb is a lethal shade of black rather than the requisite green... but I've got the big silly hat down!

My meetup group recently held an old-fashioned English-style tea party at a swanky joint down in Wilmington. I was thrilled with the idea of donning a hat, pearls and dress, and was surprised that there were only three other takers. It was a blast though! We rolled out of the car and walked down the street looking like we were attending the Derby or a Junior League event. Sure, pedestrians stopped to stare and the staff at the tea house were a little rattled by young women dressed to the nines but the reaction was mostly positive. The most heard comment? "Why don't people dress up anymore nowadays?" Why not, indeed! Big hats, dainty teacups and finger sandwiches may seem a little dated but I guarantee it is an indulgence well worth it.

I can't wait to go again. Future visitors to NC: bring a big hat and be prepared to party like it is 1809!

Bettie Page RIP

Blogging Fun Bad Wolf Style

As Roadtripper mentioned, lists appeal to my OCD personality so here goes. This is a shout out to CKD and Roadtripper, hope you are having a drink and some fun tonight! Oh, and I added one category of my own, the first one:

*. Songs that I could listen to one hundred times a day:
1. I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For by U2 with the New Freedom Choir (Seriously, if you have not heard this version it is a spiritual experience. Or at least it is with me, every time).
2. And Your Bird Can Sing by the Beatles (the Anthology Cut, John is high and laughing through the entire thing and it never fails to make me laugh either).
3. Long Road to Ruin by the Foo Fighters (I long to belt this out during a drunken karaoke night, it makes me feel unstoppable).
4. I Don't Want To Waste Your Time by Over the Rhine (simply a great song, the band was introduced to me by she who won't be named and I thank her for that).

A. Jobs I have had:
1. Hostess at Italian Oven
2. Office drone at Deam Lake State Recreation Area
3. Office drone at Roche Diagnostics
4. Office drone in the Navy, currently Navy Manpower Analysis Center, Memphis TN

B. Movies I love and can watch over and over and over:
1. Shawshank Redemption (will watch it every time i see it on TV, every time)
2. Tombstone (part of my love affair with Val Kilmer)
3. Little Women (even though I cry every time)
4. Usual Suspects (what can I say, Roadtripper and I share great taste)

C. Places I have lived:
1. West Lafayette, IN
2. Bath, England, UK
3. Norfolk, VA
4. Memphis, TN

D. TV Shows I love:
1. LOST
2. Doctor Who
3. Bones (can be extremely gory but is funnier than most comedies and has the hottest chemistry on TV)
4. Supernatural

E. Places I have vacationed: (will exclude places I vacationed to while in the Navy, it would make it much harder to choose from)
1. Barcelona, Spain (and earned a broken wrist!)
2. Charleston, South Carolina
3. Bend, Oregon
4. Anyplace Roadtripper has lived

F. Favorite Foods/Dishes:
1. Mac and Cheese (but only if cooked by my dad, I swear it is so much better than any other mac and cheese I have ever eaten)
2. Tarte Tatin
3. Anything with potatoes
4. Brownies

G. Sites I Visit Everyday, or Almost:
1. CNN
2. TWOP
3. Entertainment Weekly
4. Blogger (just to see what crazy shit my friends CKD and Roadtripper have going on today!)

H. Places I'd Rather Be:
1. Back in the UK doesn't matter where
2. BFE North Carolina getting Roadtripper drunk
3. The Island
4. The Caribbean dancing on the deck of a catamaran

I. People I am Tagging:
1. Candace
2. Aw hell, everyone else I know who reads this is already tagged. Screw it!

Blogging Fun

Hey Bad Wolf! Looks like we have been tagged by our fave fellow blogger, CKD. Since lists appeal to Bad Wolf's OCD... and I will do anything right now to distract myself from the urge to punch a hole through a wall, here goes...

Four jobs I've had:

1. Summer job at a craft consignment store called "Friendly Crafts" (Yeah... you read that one correctly!)
2. Sandwich bitch at Wendy's
3. Soldier (like the commercials said "I am an Army of One.")
4. current job where I make video games for a living yet spend 90 % of my time convincing folks that they are "training aids, dammit!"

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Steel Magnolias
2. Dogma
3. North & South (technically, a mini-series but who cares?)
4. The Usual Suspects

Four places I have lived:

1. Barstow, CA (yes... that little desert rathole you passed on your way from SoCal to Vegas)
2. West Lafayette, IN
3. Kiev, Ukraine
4. Stafford, VA

Four TV shows I love:

1. LOST
2. Top Chef (Even though I am not one for cooking. Eating... yes!)
3. Mad Men
4. Any of The Real Housewives shows... Orange County, New York, Atlanta... cattiness abounds on all of them!

Four places I've vacationed:

1. Key West, FL
2. Memphis, TN (Elvis and Bad Wolf! Killer combo)
3. Nassau, Bahamas
4. Okinawa, Japan (technically a work trip but I tacked on a few extra days for leisure)

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Sushi ("Hello, I am Roadtripper and I am a sushi addict")
2. Momma's gumbo
3. English sticky toffee pudding
4. Crawfish boil

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Jezebel
2. Facebook
3. Slate
4. Television Without Pity

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. eating sushi in Japan
2. at a spa retreat (Mmmmmm... massage... facial... pedicure)
3. at a sample sale where they only stocked my size (hey, a girl can dream, can't she?)
4. The Island!

Four People I am tagging:

1. Bad Wolf (can I even tag my own blog-mate?)
2. Draugr94
3. Supermadchen
4. Renae

When Reality Attacks

Sorry, dear readers. Reality sometimes even seeps in to fantasy lands like our beloved island. Due to a high level of douchebaggery (™ Roadtripper) seen displayed by members of Team Testosterone (once again, ™ Roadtripper), I can't even bring myself to enjoy the rippling muscles and dimpled smiles of island inductees. Maybe next week... I am too busy licking my wounds right now.

And, like a true friend, Bad Wolf is standing strong against Team Testosterone with me. Too bad she doesn't live closer. We would have a hell of a time getting drunk off cheap wine and fashioning voodoo dolls in the douchebag's likeness.

Welcome to the Island: Hugh Jackman

He was recently named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive and I think we can all see why. Sorry Eric but Hugh is my favorite Aussie. Even if you ignore the accent, smile, and versatility: huge romantic epics (Australia), big budget action flicks (X-Men), and even Broadway (I am ignoring the short lived Viva Laughlin) you still have one hell of a body. Just see exhibit A:



And who wouldn't want to run their finger through this hair:



Welcome to the Island Hugh, you will always have a spot on my sexiest man alive list.

Welcome To The Island: Eric Bana

It's been two weeks since I have posted an island pick so I owe ya'll a good one:

Momma needs her smelling salts after viewing this one!

Hailing from the land down und-ah, Eric Bana was my first pick for fave Aussie (slacker side note: he was supposed to be my choice for the men in uniform edition two weeks ago but a nasty computer virus sidelined my blogging activity). He has a cute smile, great pecs and hair that just begs to have my fingers running through it. Plus, he got his start as a comedian... and what girl doesn't love a man who makes her laugh? I would let him call me his Sheila anyday!

Where to? Who cares? I would follow him anywhere.