10/7/08

Maybe Mud Wrestling Would Have Been A Better Format


Yup! This was the highlight of the debate.

I had a blast live-blogging the VP debate. I don't know if tonight's Presidential Debate will be anywhere near as entertaining but here goes:

9:00 Oooooh! Town hall format. This shows promise.

9:01 Tom Brokaw as the moderator. I love how he can't properly pronounce his Rs. I find this man strangely hot. Strange, I know.

9:02 Brokaw jokes that audience members have to show restraint but those of us at home don't have to do the same. The man knows me too well.

9:03 Dorky wave from McCain. He looks like he is facing a firing squad.

9:05 Straight out the gate, the economy question comes up and Obama blames Bush then McCain. Follows ups with exactly how he would fix it. Well played.

9:06 McCain is going to solve the economic crisis by cutting money to "countries who don't like us very much." Uhhhh... yeah...

9:08 McCain tries for down-home folksy by addressing everyone as "my friends." It just sounds snippy.

9:09 Brokaw asks who McCain would appoint Secretary of Treasury. McCain responds with "Not you, Tom." Joke bombs. Crickets chirp.

9:10 I receive a text from Dustin saying "No drinkin during the debate." Too late! I was going to take a drink every time someone mentioned the economy but wisely decided against it.

9:12 McCain pats himself on the back again for suspending his campaign to deal with the economic crisis. How'd that work out for ya, old man?

9:14 Obama says he has to correct McCain "not surprisingly." Them's fighting words. Maybe there is hope for this debate after all.

9:17 Wow! This isn't as much fun tonight. The economy has even put a damper on my ability to laugh at anything.

9:17 McCain just said "my friend" again. Not sure who to. New drinking game, anyone?

9:21 They are both trying to out-do each other in the "I'm a reformer" department. It was more fun when it was being called maverick. Can't believe I am saying this but bring back the maverick! Where's Palin when we need her?

9:24 "My friends". Drink! (I am chugging $5 wine tonight. In case you haven't heard: ECONOMIC CRISIS!!!)

9:27 Brokaw reminds them to keep it short or they will "have a bigger deficit than the US government." Oh, Brokaw, I am glad someone didn't lose their sense of humor tonight.

9:29 McCain answers the "what sacrifices would you ask the average American to make to solve the economic crisis?" question without mentioning his own huge sacrifice as a POW. Is he even awake tonight? Old man is slipping.

9:35 Obama uses the "scalpel not a hatchet" line regarding cuts to government spending. Cool line but its effectiveness is waning with overuse.

9:40 McCain's laugh reminds me too much of a dying man's last gasp. It makes me break out in hives by reminding me that he is decrepit and Palin is waiting in the wings. Thankfully he says "my friends" again so I can take another swig and calm my nerves.

9:45 Obama says the government scientists invented the Internet. Know your history, son! Poppa Gore is responsible for that one.

9:47 Damn, Brokaw is getting really pissy about time. Looks like he needs some $5 wine too.

9:53 I just noticed the candidates' choice of ties. Obama in blue, McCain in red. How original. What I wouldn't give to see a pink checkered tie...

9:54 McCain makes a needing a hair transplant joke when talking about health care. Not only did the joke suck but way to draw attention to the fact that you are ancient, McCain. I think of Palin taking over again and take two swigs.

9:55 Is health care a responsibility or a right? Obama says right, McCain says responsibility. Easy to say when your wife is a beer heiress.

10:08 Damn, I am bored!

10:11 McCain cribs Teddy Roosevelt's "speak softly and carry a big stick" then says Obama talks too loudly because he announces his plans. God forbid we keep Americans in the loop.

10:14 Obama gets pissed and throws McCain's "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" comment back in his face as an example of McCain not speaking softly. LOL, Obama!

10:15 Regarding bin Laden, McCain just says "Don't even worry... I know how to catch him." Okay, so why hasn't he shared this great master plan sometime in the past 7 years?!?!?!?

10:16 McCain accuses Obama of sending out a telegram of his military plans. Telegram? Join this century, old fart. FYI: It would be a Facebook status update nowadays.

10:23 Brokaw tries to limit the candidates to a yes or no answer when asking the question "Is Russia still an Evil Empire?" Politicians giving a concise, one-word answer... bitch, please! On a serious note, that was way too complicated of a question for just a yes or no.

10:26 A retired Naval chief asks McCain a question. McCain thanks him for his service and says everything he learned in the Navy was from a chief. Hell yeah! Enlisted folks rock! Too bad I don't think his fly-boy ass really believes that. Especially since all reports about McCain's military service make him out to be an asshole.

10:30 Shot of Michelle Obama. I heart her!

10:32 Obama talks about his single mom, growing up on food stamps and being raised by grandma in his closing statement. Too little, too late with your attempt to pull the heart strings after being bone dry all night.

10:33 McCain tries to match Obama with his absent military father. Even worse.

10:34 Brokaw tells the candidates to get the hell out of the way of his tele-prompter so he can sign off and go get his drink on. I feel his pain!

I think I would have had more fun sitting in the dentist's chair than watching that debate. Lame!