My karma ran over your dogma: Tuesday, September 30, 2008

9/30/08

But Am I Compatible With Eharmony?

Chalk it up to moment of weakness. After seeing one of those sappy eharmony commercials where the couples stare deeply in to one another's eyes and talk about how in love they are and how happy they are to find their soul mate blah blah blah, I broke down and took eharmony's personality test.

The good news: I appear to be a fairly balanced person... at least according to my personality profile results.

The shocking news: I actually got accepted. Eharmony's founder is Neil Clark Warren, an evangelical Christian who won't even let gays apply for eharmony. I was pretty sure my agnostic, divorced self was going to be denied.

The bad news: My inbox has been flooded with eharmony emails. You have a match! We will help you find love! Chuck from Havelock requests "guided communication" (huh?!?!) Just pay $147 for a six month membership.

The weird news: I don't think I am really ready for a serious relationship. The idea of a relationship started via the internet makes me break out in hives.

The User's Manual

Bad Wolf and Roadtripper8 have been friends since their college days at Purdue University. Bad Wolf was the studious quiet one while Roadtripper was the party girl. They bonded over a mutual love of the X-Files. The friendship was solidified a few months later when they threw themselves out of a perfectly good airplane. Life over the past 11 years has led Bad Wolf to find her voice... and she hasn't stopped talking since. Roadtripper is a little less likely to start a bar fight these days.

Bad Wolf is a Beatles fanatic who is feeling blue in Elvis-crazy Memphis. You can often find her stomping around in 4 inch heeled boots, wearing heavy vintage coats despite 80 degree heat and bursting in to off-key song whenever she feels like it. She takes being called a snob as a compliment. Bad Wolf serves in the US Navy, and will probably punch you if you start singing the Village People's "In The Navy".

Bad Wolf Likes: English pubs, bumper stickers, carbs, Harry Potter, guys with blonde hair, peacocks, Sephora, hard cider, Dr. Who, her dad's home cooking, the BBC, the Indianapolis Colts

Bad Wolf Hates: tomatoes, roses, flat shoes, FOX news, hip-hop music (unless she is drunk on the dance floor), skinny jeans, Diet Coke, playing pool

Roadtripper8 recently downshifted in life and relocated from the hustle of the DC metro to a quiet coastal town in North Carolina. An Army veteran and analyst for the defense industry, she spends most of her day listening to co-workers tell BS war stories and trying not to gouge her own eyeballs out. To relieve stress, she cruises the aisles of her local Target, frequents bad karoake bars and clings to the belief that Bloody Marys can solve anything. She was born on the cusp of Leo and Virgo which just means she gets to pick whichever horoscope sounds best for the day and can't make up her mind if she wants to be a blonde or redhead.

Roadtripper Likes: Twizzlers, Bravo reality TV shows, pugs, high thread count sheets, boxed wine, honeysuckle, argyle, stuffy period pieces, the beach, sushi, Mad Men, tarot cards

Roadtripper Hates: non-smoking sections, traffic, carrot cake, pina coladas, the Christian Right, pukka shell necklaces, kids who wear Wheelies, patchouli, pickles, Disney movies

My karma ran over your dogma

9/30/08

But Am I Compatible With Eharmony?

Where to next?

In The Driver's Seat

The User's Manual

The Rear View Mirror

The Passenger Seat

Fellow Roadtrippers

Mile Markers