A Much Needed Post-Debate Moment Of Zen

For everyone who needed a laugh to decompress.

I Am Actually Ashamed To Have Ovaries Right Now

Not even thirty minutes in to the VP debate and I have already yelled myself hoarse. It started when Gov. Palin blew a kiss to the audience and asked if she could call Sen. Biden Joe. Nothing but downhill since. I am too irritated to do a proper live blog but here are some observations.

New drinking game. Take a shot every time that woman says any of the following:
Main Street
Joe Six Pack
soccer mom
hockey mom
the great state of Alaska
God Bless
around the kitchen table

Biden is a trying his best to be charming and not lose his temper but you can tell he is totally gritting his teeth when he smiles.

I like how Palin keeps trying to pass herself off as middle class. Did you know her and her husband's income was $250K the year she ran for mayor? I have never been to Alaska before. Maybe that is considered middle class there.

She just referenced that shitty chant "Drill, baby, drill." You can tell she really thinks that is cute. I think it makes me want to puke.

Biden reminds me of an old fart that kept hitting on me in a hotel bar once. Kind of creepy...

9:36 I need to start putting times on here. Sorry I didn't think of that before. What kind of shop are we running here? Maybe that drinking game was a bad idea... darn!

9:40 Do cameramen usually film the candidates from behind as much as they do when one of them is in a skirt? I have seen more shots of Palin's legs than anything else.

9:41 Don't start the crying game, Govenor. I know your son is heading over to Iraq but so is Biden's. He isn't crying so put on a pair of big girl panties, sista.

9:44 Biden is throwing it back on her. Yup... McCain did vote against funding for troops too. Palin looks surprised by that fact. Did she not even bother to take a peek at the voting record of her boss? Ha ha! You Republicans don't have a patent on patriotism.

9:45 Palin can't even pronounce Taliban. Jeez!

9:49 Definition of diplomacy "Hard work by dedicated people." Thanks, Gov. Palin.

9:54 Biden is firing on all cylinders when speaking about Israel. Palin's response is how happy she is that they both love Israel. Awww! Maybe she will buy the world a Coke next.

10:02 I can't wait to hear how the conservative pundits try to spin this debate in their favor. This is Biden's house tonight.

10:04 Palin in now trying to amp up the cute factor... too bad we are talking about foreign spending. Not a very cute topic. Golly-gee! Tina Fey is going to have a field day with all this material.

10:07 Biden was just asked how he would run the White House if he ever had to take the presidency. Speaking of, check out this shit from Ann Coulter where she basically calls Obama assassination bait. The Secret Service needs to put Coulter on a watch list. Bitch is crazy.

10:10 Wasilla, AK versus Scranton, PA as both try to out-blue-collar each other.

10:13 She just gave a "shout out" to some kids at an elementary school. She is such a hip soccer mom... except the term "shout out" saw its hey-dey about a decade ago.

10:14 Palin just said McCain "tapped her". Hee hee! Pardon me... I am 13 again.

10:17 Biden just called Dick Cheney "the most dangerous Vice President in history". Oooh...burn!

10:19 Palin just said that her and the old fart stand for equal rights. LOL! Is that why McCain keeps voting against the equal pay bill for women?

10:21 Biden sees Palin's soccer mom card and raises her by playing the single dad after being widowed card. Palin blinks rapidly, folds and switches tactics by sing-songing McCain's praises again.

10:23 Biden is now calling out Palin's constant referral to McCain as a maverick. Sure, if maverick = old dude who doesn't want to change anything.

10:24 Who's house? Biden's house. Whooooooo's house? Biden's house. (Tell me someone gets the Run DMC reference, please!)

10:29 Closing statements. Palin goes first. Her voice is like nails against a chalkboard. I thought McCain was against using torture.

10:30 I wish they would quit talking about how great it is to finally meet. Get a room, you two.

10:31 If only Biden's eyes weren't so shifty. It makes him look like an untrustworthy, dirty old man who picks up women in hotel bars.

Whew! It's over. I need a cigarette and another drink. I am stoked that Biden mopped the floor with Palin's ass. That was awesome.

10:34 Hey! Is that Palin's knocked up daughter I see?

At least 5 Minutes of Amusement

Stuck at work bored out of your mind? Stuck in bed with the flu like me? Or maybe you are just looking for something funny (at least until tonight's VP Candidate debate)? I have just the thing! By following the link below, you too can find out what your name would be if you were in the wacky Palin family where you had siblings named Track, Trig, Bristol, and Willow! Yes it's the Sarah Palin Name Generator and provided me with a few minutes of chuckles, key when you are down with the flu you got by taking the flu shot.

If I was a Palin (thank goodness I am not), my name would be Sport Grunt Palin. What's Yours?