Welcome to the Island: Edward Norton

Edward Norton never played a Nazi but he did play a neo-Nazi in American History X. And despite the fact that his character had just produced one of the most cringe worthy moments of modern film (biting the curb), I could only think one thing: damn he's hot. With the size of those biceps one can easily ignore the giant swastika tattoo. Hell, who cares about the tattoo, have you seen that chest?

I have since watched him in some great movies as Fight Club and the Illusionist and some not so great: Italian Job anyone? There is just something about that man. He can slip into roles like a chameleon, not that I am often thinking of his acting ability when I watch him. I will take him anyway I can.

Oh, and for you trivia buffs, he was in Red Dragon with Ralph Fiennes. Damn those men are fine.

Welcome To The Island: Ralph Fiennes

Today's island theme is guys that you first found hot even when you first saw them in a less-than-desirable role. Every girl loves a jerk, right?

Enter my decade plus love of Ralph Fiennes. The first time I remember seeing him on film was at my high school's obligatory viewing of Schindler's List. The movie ripped my cold heart out and dissolved it in to a quivering pile of despair... yet through all that, I couldn't help notice just how stunningly gorgeous that shithead Nazi Amon Göth was. And I mean seriously stunning in an ice-cold way. Is that even normal?

All I could think of was that line from Sylvia Plath's poem "Daddy":

Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you.

Is it strange to lust after a guy playing a Nazi in a movie about a concentration camp? Therapy, anyone?

Ralph Fiennes constantly makes it hard to love him. He specializes in dickhead roles. After chilling my blood in Schindler's List, he managed to creep me out as the original emo guy Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights or as a nutbag in The Red Dragon or even his recent turn as a mob boss in In Bruges. As much as I love The English Patient (yes... I am still holding out for a guy to claim my clavicle as the body part that he owns on me. That scene makes me swoon every time), I will even admit that his romantic Count László de Almássy had tinges of asshole. But he sure was damn pretty in that movie...

Even though I publicly condemned his more commercial turns in The Avengers and Maid in Manhattan (J-Lo? Seriously?), I privately tuned in just to see him play a nice guy. Or maybe just to see him in a sharp suit. Whatever.

Every girl IS crazy for a sharp-dressed man!

I will watch Ralph Fiennes play a Nazi or even a serial killer but I draw the line with all those Harry Potter movies. C'mon... they took his nose away. That is just wrong to mar such perfection.

Must pull out copy of English Patient to heal the pain of looking at this picture.