Mommy, Can I Be A Porn Star For Halloween This Year?

The question of Halloween costumes came up this weekend. I have a party to go to but no idea what to go as. Since I don't know a lot of people that are going to be there, anything involving heavy make-up or masks is out. No matter how cool the costume, nobody wants to take a chance chatting up a chick whose werewolf mask might actually be a vast improvement on her day-to-day look.

Halloween used to be so easy. I spent the ages of 2 through 10 alternating between dressing up as either Cinderella, Princess Leia or Madonna. My junior and senior high years were all about the scary costumes. College was reserved for the high-brow, over-thought costumes that nobody got. "So... you're like a zombie, huh?" "Yeah, but I am carrying a briefcase. Get it? I'm a corporate zombie. Duh!" Same thing goes for the year I dressed up as a drag queen and spent the night trying to explain how funny it was to be a woman dressed up as a man dressed up as a woman.

Then my 21st birthday rolled around and I entered the bar scene. Halloween hasn't been the same since. No longer is Halloween all about creativity or scariness. Nope. Halloween is now the one holiday when other-wise respectable, educated women can get away with dressing like utter sluts and still look their co-workers in the eye the next day. Slutty cop, slutty fallen angel, slutty Greek goddess, slutty librarian... I have worn them all.





Now I am 30. After looking at a beer wench costume that would really look kick ass with a pair of Mary Jane stilettos I picked up recently, I had to stop and ask myself: When is it time to hang up the slutty Halloween costumes?

Talk amongst yourselves. I haven't hit the checkout button for that slutty Eve costume in my online shopping cart either.