Welcome to the Island: Luke Wilson Edition

In honor of President Obama's inauguration (I still get a little giddy typing and saying that), this week's island theme is actors who have played the Prez. My choice: Luke Wilson.



He starred in a not very well known movie called Idiocracy (which I haven't seen but will be nexflixing shortly) wherein he was frozen/hibernated in a government experiment gone awry. He wakes up 500 years later in a de-evolved society where he is easily the smartest person and thusly elected president. Any why not? He can be my president any day. Take a look at that jaw line, I just want to lick it. He is also pretty damn funny, he guest starred on one of the funniest episodes of the X-Files ever! In fact, if I ever met him I would probably become the flustered giddy school girl that Dana Scully did in Bad Blood.



Welcome to the island Luke, let me show you into my oval office.

My Newest Obsession

My family has a tendency to fixate on things. When we discover a new interest we must learn everything about it (hence my encyclopedic knowledge of the Beatles and my dad's 13 year ongoing Civil War book project). Since catching part of Band of Brothers on TV over the holidays I have, well fixated. In between trying to stomach the absolute absurdity of Twilight and finish it, I have read "Brothers in Battle: Best of Friends" and am making my way through the Band of Brothers DVD set and also reading "Band of Brothers" by Stephen Ambrose and "Easy Company Soldier."

So when I disappear for a while, come back speaking WW II slang, and nominate Damian Lewis as my favorite man in uniform you will understand why.

Normal is so overrated.

Welcome to the Island: Nathan Fillion Edition

What's that you're thinking? "A new island post? It's been ages!" Yes it has, and what can I say? Real life gets in the way sometimes. But I'm baaaacckkkkk. And for my pick: Nathan Fillion:



Some of you may remember him from his short lived stint on Desperate Housewives or when he was One Life to Live (and yes I sadly admit to having watched that soap). His best role (at least until he becomes my personal slave)? Captain Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly/Serenity. It was a short lived TV show that was a space western written by TV God Joss Whedon. Not everyone's cup of tea (I am looking at you Roadtripper!) it certainly was mine, not least of which for him.



He combines an honest moral front with a dark center of don't fuck with me. And he has a great smile and a killer body. Captain Tightpants indeed. Yum.

Like Vodka For The Bitter Divorcée's Soul

One thing I love about being single: having a group of witty, supportive friends who will hold back your hair when you are puking and will send hysterical emails to cheer you up when you are wallowing upon hearing your ex-husband remarried and spawned. Thanks, CKD!

I read your post about the ex. Ok, here are some reasons why you should not feel like a withered old maid.

1.) You are only 30. So young, so much to look forward to.

2.) Jayla Rae is the most fucking retarded name EVER. It sounds like something Britney Spears or an unwed teen mother would name her kid. They probably got it from a soap opera.

3.) You were not ripped a new vag by a human shooting out of it. This is not something to be taken lightly.

4.) You are embarking on so many fabulous adventures and have already made a ton of great new friends since moving to NC.

You are doing great and are fantastic. Seriously. Now enjoy your drink!

Ouch!

Nothing prepares a girl to see this news item while screwing around and haphazardly googling her ex-husband:

New Wife [sic] and Psycho Ex-Husband [sic] of Shit Hole Town in
Washington State [sic], a girl, Jayla Rae , Oct. 30, 2008. Jayla is the granddaughter
of New Wife's [sic] parents Blah Blah and Blah [sic], and Ex-Father-In-Law who
used to drink himself in to a stupor in his workshop [sic] and Ex-Mother-In-Law
who was always hopped up on Prozac [sic] of Nearby Crappy Town [sic].

Crap! I feel like I am going to puke. Knowing Psycho Ex like I do, I guessed he would be so unoriginal as to register at the same story as we did for our wedding. Bingo! The baby registry is still up.

Dammit!

I feel like a withered old maid for sure now.

Do yourself a favor and don't google your ex.

I am off to pour myself a stiff drink.

More Emphasis On The Bitch Part

Wikipedia's definition of Stitch 'n Bitch: Stitch 'n Bitch is a name used by knitting groups that meet on a weekly or monthly basis at locations throughout the world. This use of the term originates as early as the Second World War. Stitch 'n Bitch clubs are generally casual groups of knitters who meet in bars or cafes for socializing and sharing knitting advice.

Roadtripper's definition of Stitch 'n Bitch: a meetup event that sounded like a great idea at the time. Roadtripper accepted with visions of all the trendy scarves she would be knitting in no time. An hour's work resulted in a 3-inch fuzzy pencil warmer. When trying to create a second row, Roadtripper managed to successfully unravel half of her first row (the aforementioned pencil warmer) without realizing it. The second hour was spent untangling the mess that she had made and teasing host's cat with yarn. Roadtripper walked out of the Stitch 'n Bitch vowing to just buy herself a trendy scarf instead.

Christmas Cheer... By Jove, It Finally Hit Me!

I am a slow burn for the holiday season. I despise nothing more than seeing Santas being displayed in stores just past the Halloween costumes. The season hits entirely too soon for me. I like breaking rules on a lot of things but I turn in to a die-hard traditionalist when it comes to Yuletide. No decorations until the day after Thanksgiving. No shopping until Black Friday. No Christmas songs until the Advent calender gets broken out. It is simple math to me. There is no way to sustain enthusiasm for the holidays when you start months prior.

The weeks following Thanksgiving turn me in to a big ball of stress as I make lists and try to bargain shop. Bah Humbug! It is hard to feel the spirit of the season when battling long lines and crowded parking lots. But, as always, somewhere around the 22nd of the month, my spirits lift and I really start to dig Christmas.

Things that have put me in the Christmas spirit so far:

1. Over-done light displays on houses a la Clark Griswold

2. Any Christmas carol sung by Elvis

3. People out in public wearing Santa hats

4. The look on a friend's face when they aren't expecting a gift

5. The look on my face when new friends surprise me with a gift

6. The silly $5 or less gag gift I bought for my office Chinese auction.

7. That six hour drive to my parents' house tomorrow. Sure... traffic will probably suck and it is awfully cold and windy but I can't wait to see them again. Because, when it all comes down to it, they are what Christmas is all about!

Welcome to the Island: Val Kilmer Edition

One of many, many wonderful things about Roadtripper, Andrea, and I's island theory is that the hot men on our island, are always hot. Even, if in reality, they no longer are. A main case point is Val Kilmer:



Needless to say, he does not look like this anymore. I will not assault your eyes with visual proof, just take my word for it. But I don't have to worry, in my mind and on the island he is always Jim Morrison:



Hell, I even got a kick out of him as a tweaked out meth head in The Salton Sea:



He could turn into a late life Marlon Brando for all I care, Val Kilmer will always be my king, and on the island he can always be Iceman.