Stephen King, One More Reason I Love Him

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."

So says Stephen King, the master of the truly terrifying during an interview with USA Weekend.

Finally! Someone with some sense, says what many of us have been thinking since we read that trashtastic (and not in the awesome V. C. Andrews way) book. He goes on to say that:

"A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that's a shorthand for all the feelings that they're not ready to deal with yet."

Yes! Hello, all of you tweens and middle age housewives out there! Vampires=sex and um vampires... they shouldn't sparkle. And watching you all night without your knowledge? That's not flattering, it's stalking.

Thank you Mr. King. Now get out there and write another book and show her how it is really done.

My Newest Obsession

My family has a tendency to fixate on things. When we discover a new interest we must learn everything about it (hence my encyclopedic knowledge of the Beatles and my dad's 13 year ongoing Civil War book project). Since catching part of Band of Brothers on TV over the holidays I have, well fixated. In between trying to stomach the absolute absurdity of Twilight and finish it, I have read "Brothers in Battle: Best of Friends" and am making my way through the Band of Brothers DVD set and also reading "Band of Brothers" by Stephen Ambrose and "Easy Company Soldier."

So when I disappear for a while, come back speaking WW II slang, and nominate Damian Lewis as my favorite man in uniform you will understand why.

Normal is so overrated.

Random Musings

Trying to keep up the blog in Roadtripper's absence but my life really isn't that interesting. I have been contemplating a Sarah Palin piece after watching the first part of her Charles Gibson interview and reading several insightful articles but I just get mad and have not been able to rationally or intelligently put my thoughts in order yet. And today is football today and my Colts managed to pull it out of their ass long enough to win, finally. But the one interesting thing I did do this weekend (other than getting the oil changed in my car and rationing my travelling due to unbelievable price gouging at the pumps) was go to the Cooper-Young Festival in Memphis. The C-Y area of Memphis is kind of like Bardstown Rd in Louisville, except with worse restaurants. It is cool and hip and they had plenty of music and crafts. I did find a few gems:

See Roadtripper wasn't lying when she said I was a Beatles fanatic. The best part is I do own a turntable to play the album on. The earrings are made from Guinness bottle caps! and an old key I will be making into a necklace. It was a nice waste of an afternoon. Did go to The Celtic Crossing, an Irish restaurant/pub there and was not impressed. Just because you serve Guinness on tap and play U2 on the sound system does not make you Irish. They had no Strongbow (which yes I realize is English not Irish but all good Irish pubs I have been to have it) and their fish and chips? Not that good.

One other good find from the weekend? The book: Other People's Love Letters edited by Bill Shapiro. Just happened across it at Barnes and Nobles (my second home) and got it on a whim. It is composed, as the title obviously implies, of real love letters written by other people. Some of the letters are funny, some are sweet, some are angry, and some are heartbreaking, as is the end which gives updates to some of the letters. An utter romantic with a pragmatic heart, it gave me hope and is a pleasant way to while away an afternoon. Hopefully Roadtripper will get her cable up soon, one of us has got to be the fun one on here.

A Book To Movie That Just Might Not Suck

I love, love, love Erica Jong's book* "Fear of Flying". The book came out in 1973 but is still relevant and a little titillating even now in 2008. Imagine my joy to read a news bit this morning that "Fear of Flying" is being made in to a movie. Even better, the lead character of Isadora Wing might be played by either Kate Winslet or Maggie Gyllenhaal. Yay! This had better not suck... or have Miley Cyrus as the lead.

*If you haven't read it... run to your local library this instant! Every woman needs to read about the zipless fuck.

Dirtbag Alert: Dante Moore

Dante Moore, a computer engineer who was fed up with being a nerd who got no play from the ladies, has taken it upon himself to write a "help" book for single women. The advice found in "The Re-education of the Female" (ugh... just typing that title made me break out in to hives): Learn how to cook man-friendly meals, do as you're told, stay pleasant and non-confrontational and, above all else, DON'T GET FAT!

Here is a little sample from his manifesto:

"The fatter you get, the more you decrease your potential single-man pool. Let me give you an example. When you go to the grocery store to shop, do you pick out the nastiest-looking, most rotten, smelliest fruit or meat you can find? Oh, you don't? Why not? . . . It's the same with men when they see baby elephant-sized, out-of-shape women."

Even better is:

"Here's a little secret, ladies: men never really ask for anything. They command. . . . And believe me, what you won't do, ten broads around the corner will."

Thank you, Mr. Dante Moore. Reading your vile excuse for advice made me vomit. Looks like I found a new diet plan. Maybe I should pick up a copy of your book, so every time I get the urge to eat, I can just read a passage and completely lose my appetite. Maybe I will lose the will to express my own opinions since I will be so weak from calorie deprivation. Then I can be really skinny and submissive and get a domineering, arrogant douchebag like you for a boyfriend.