Obama Is The New Waldo

As in... where the hell is he?!?!?

This is the wall in my office's entry way where the chain of command is supposed to be displayed. See that vacant spot on the top left? That's where the Commander in Chief should be.

Bush's face still graced this spot until Monday. I "gently" reminded our Staff Sergeant that there was a new sheriff in town and that the wall needed to be updated. He took down Bush but, four days later, I am still waiting for the new picture.

You Go, Girl... And Take That Fab Hat With You!

I recently donned a ridiculously large hat for my club's outing to an English tea house. It. Was. Awesome. We have another tea party coming up in March. I am planning the entire outfit around the hat. Hats are awesome... but ridiculously large church hats with bows, feathers and nets are even better!

So everyone hating on Aretha Franklin's bomb ass hat worn at the inauguration... get over it! She is the queen of soul and can out sing anyone, thus earning her the right to do whatever she pleases when she performs. And I thought the hat kicked ass! Maybe I can find one like it for my next tea party...

Welcome To The Island: Josh Brolin

A changing of the guard has taken place and the reign of Dubya has finally ended... except on our island!! Don't fret, dear readers, I have not gone mad and chosen George to be on our island, but rather an actor who played the former president in Oliver Stone's 2008 satire W. (and rather well, might I add). Welcome to the Hot Guys Who Played a President Edition.

Enter Josh Brolin. Oh, how I love his brooding dark looks. And his sexy gravely voice. And his mad talent. And that smirk.

Plus he was a Goonie... and we all know "Goonies never say die!" (Not sure what I meant there but I couldn't possibly top Bad Wolf's "in my Oval Office" sign-off... that was the best I could come up with!)

Oh... Just Go Get A Room (In The White House!)

I swear, President-Elect and Future First Lady Obama (felt so good typing that!) are just too damn cute. I actually choked up a little bit at the genuineness of his thanks to "my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life". Awwww! Can these two get any more adorable? I am going to go in to sugar shock after 4 (or 8, fingers crossed) years of this.

Get Your Vote On!

By now, most people have decided who they are voting for (or if they are even going to vote at all.) I love Election Day. My inner political science nerd thinks the whole electoral process is fascinating. Being a veteran makes me appreciate that it is a chance to pick your commander-in-chief (and, in a way, your own boss! Who else can say that?)

Which ever side of the fence you sit on, take a moment to check out this (bi-partisan) clip. It is catchy as hell, and I guarantee you will be singing it while waiting in line at the polls tomorrow.




Thanks to all the voters out there (yeah, yeah... even you insane McCain-Palin supporters!) We may not see eye to eye on every issue but all of us want to see this great country become even greater.

Palin Gets Punk'd

A Quebec radio station managed to convince Gov. Palin's camp that she was actually receiving a call from French president Nicolas Sarkozy... and Palin fell for it! This is one of the funniest things I have heard all year. Not only does it further prove Palin's idiocy but I am suspecting a little Sarkozy crush on Palin's part. Sorry, Sarah, but your Guns & Ammo Barbie act probably wouldn't hold up against his French supermodel/pop star wife.

Proof My Co-Workers Have Too Much Time On Their Hands

FYI: I am registered and plan on participating in North Carolina's early voting on Saturday. But this scenario still scares the beejebus out of me. So get out there on November 4th (or earlier, if you can!)

Just Go Meet In The Alley, You Two!

Sorry, guys but I am late tonight! I had another one of my meetup group events tonight. After work drinks at a local bar... I needed a jump start for this final debate. Oooohh... the sit-down forum. Interesting.

9:33 Boy did I walk in at a good time. McCain and Obama are going at it about McCain's political rallies. McCain is trying to defend the fact that some of his supporters are bigots. Obama has a STFU look on his face.

9:37 The Bill Ayers question. Obama handles it well. They served on a board together. Big whoop! Obama states clearly that Ayers will not be on his Cabinet.

9:38 Obama in a red tie; McCain in a blue one. What's going on tonight? Do they text each other beforehand? They are worse than me and my girlfriends before a night out.

9:40 Who's VP is better? Creepy old guy vs. Guns & Ammo Barbie. Tough call but creepy guy has a slight edge.

9:44 Obama managed to keep a straight face when answering if Palin was qualified as VP.

9:45 McCain touts that Palin understands special-needs children. Obama counters with those special-needs children would need more funding for research and support. McCain disagrees. What are we supposed to do... help them just through the mighty power of prayer?

9:47 Obama sure is smirking a lot tonight. The guy knows he has this election in the bag. Unless he whips out his dick, slaps it on McCain's forehead and shouts "Kill Whitey"... nope... come to think of it, he would still win. (Might even pick up a few extra votes, while he was at it)

9:53 McCain just needs to publish his passport so he can quit bragging about all the countries he has been to. Besides... I got drunk in Mexico a few times; it doesn't make me an expert on its economy. Who cares if McCain has actually been to Columbia?

9:59 McCain is now talking to his buddy "Joe the Plumber" and calling him "my friend". Do you really think McCain knows the name of his plumber?

10:00 Shit... now Obama is talking to "Joe the Plumber" too. I liked Joe better when he was Joe Sixpack.

10:01 New drinking game: Take a shot every time they say Joe. (I just opened a Woodchuck).

10:03 Shut up about Joe, dammit! I can't drink fast enough to keep up with this.

10:07 McCain says that he would pick Supreme Court Justices only by their qualifications not their ideology. Why don't I believe that? Ideology has been the basis for every single Justice on the bench. That is what the Supreme Court is for.

10:11 I break out in to a cold sweat when McCain says "We have to change the culture of this nation" when talking about his pro-life stance. What the hell does that mean? I like our culture just fine, thank you.

10:17 Why are Americans so stupid and lagging in education? Just look at McCain's political rallies. Must be a part of that culture McCain was speaking of.

10:20 Obama on Bush's "No Child Left Behind": "He left the money behind." LOL, Obama!

10:26 Bob Schieffer just referenced Myspace. Is it just me or do old people sound funny when they talk about Myspace?

10:28 McCain almost says he wants to make health care avoidable...er... affordable. Freuiean slip?

10:29 McCain mentions all the sacrifices he has made for his country. That POW bit never gets old, does it?

10:30 Obama closes on a fairly upbeat message.

10:31 Bob Schieffer's closing statement (claims it is from his mom): "Go vote now! It will make you feel stronger!" I couldn't have said it any better.

10:32 Damn! Michelle Obama and Cindy McCain didn't even talk to each other up on stage. I smell bad blood.

Whew! Again, sorry for my tardiness. I am glad the debates are over. Now go vote... it will make us all feel stronger!

File Her Under "Women I Admire"

It's official: Betty White rocks my world.

Fairly Unbalanced (And Freaking Hysterical!)

I am forced to watch FOX news at work (it just doesn't seem worth it to put up a fight because I am grossly outnumbered). Most of the time FOX makes my blood boil, but every once in awhile, a comedic gem like this one lands in my lap.

Maybe Mud Wrestling Would Have Been A Better Format

Yup! This was the highlight of the debate.

I had a blast live-blogging the VP debate. I don't know if tonight's Presidential Debate will be anywhere near as entertaining but here goes:

9:00 Oooooh! Town hall format. This shows promise.

9:01 Tom Brokaw as the moderator. I love how he can't properly pronounce his Rs. I find this man strangely hot. Strange, I know.

9:02 Brokaw jokes that audience members have to show restraint but those of us at home don't have to do the same. The man knows me too well.

9:03 Dorky wave from McCain. He looks like he is facing a firing squad.

9:05 Straight out the gate, the economy question comes up and Obama blames Bush then McCain. Follows ups with exactly how he would fix it. Well played.

9:06 McCain is going to solve the economic crisis by cutting money to "countries who don't like us very much." Uhhhh... yeah...

9:08 McCain tries for down-home folksy by addressing everyone as "my friends." It just sounds snippy.

9:09 Brokaw asks who McCain would appoint Secretary of Treasury. McCain responds with "Not you, Tom." Joke bombs. Crickets chirp.

9:10 I receive a text from Dustin saying "No drinkin during the debate." Too late! I was going to take a drink every time someone mentioned the economy but wisely decided against it.

9:12 McCain pats himself on the back again for suspending his campaign to deal with the economic crisis. How'd that work out for ya, old man?

9:14 Obama says he has to correct McCain "not surprisingly." Them's fighting words. Maybe there is hope for this debate after all.

9:17 Wow! This isn't as much fun tonight. The economy has even put a damper on my ability to laugh at anything.

9:17 McCain just said "my friend" again. Not sure who to. New drinking game, anyone?

9:21 They are both trying to out-do each other in the "I'm a reformer" department. It was more fun when it was being called maverick. Can't believe I am saying this but bring back the maverick! Where's Palin when we need her?

9:24 "My friends". Drink! (I am chugging $5 wine tonight. In case you haven't heard: ECONOMIC CRISIS!!!)

9:27 Brokaw reminds them to keep it short or they will "have a bigger deficit than the US government." Oh, Brokaw, I am glad someone didn't lose their sense of humor tonight.

9:29 McCain answers the "what sacrifices would you ask the average American to make to solve the economic crisis?" question without mentioning his own huge sacrifice as a POW. Is he even awake tonight? Old man is slipping.

9:35 Obama uses the "scalpel not a hatchet" line regarding cuts to government spending. Cool line but its effectiveness is waning with overuse.

9:40 McCain's laugh reminds me too much of a dying man's last gasp. It makes me break out in hives by reminding me that he is decrepit and Palin is waiting in the wings. Thankfully he says "my friends" again so I can take another swig and calm my nerves.

9:45 Obama says the government scientists invented the Internet. Know your history, son! Poppa Gore is responsible for that one.

9:47 Damn, Brokaw is getting really pissy about time. Looks like he needs some $5 wine too.

9:53 I just noticed the candidates' choice of ties. Obama in blue, McCain in red. How original. What I wouldn't give to see a pink checkered tie...

9:54 McCain makes a needing a hair transplant joke when talking about health care. Not only did the joke suck but way to draw attention to the fact that you are ancient, McCain. I think of Palin taking over again and take two swigs.

9:55 Is health care a responsibility or a right? Obama says right, McCain says responsibility. Easy to say when your wife is a beer heiress.

10:08 Damn, I am bored!

10:11 McCain cribs Teddy Roosevelt's "speak softly and carry a big stick" then says Obama talks too loudly because he announces his plans. God forbid we keep Americans in the loop.

10:14 Obama gets pissed and throws McCain's "Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran" comment back in his face as an example of McCain not speaking softly. LOL, Obama!

10:15 Regarding bin Laden, McCain just says "Don't even worry... I know how to catch him." Okay, so why hasn't he shared this great master plan sometime in the past 7 years?!?!?!?

10:16 McCain accuses Obama of sending out a telegram of his military plans. Telegram? Join this century, old fart. FYI: It would be a Facebook status update nowadays.

10:23 Brokaw tries to limit the candidates to a yes or no answer when asking the question "Is Russia still an Evil Empire?" Politicians giving a concise, one-word answer... bitch, please! On a serious note, that was way too complicated of a question for just a yes or no.

10:26 A retired Naval chief asks McCain a question. McCain thanks him for his service and says everything he learned in the Navy was from a chief. Hell yeah! Enlisted folks rock! Too bad I don't think his fly-boy ass really believes that. Especially since all reports about McCain's military service make him out to be an asshole.

10:30 Shot of Michelle Obama. I heart her!

10:32 Obama talks about his single mom, growing up on food stamps and being raised by grandma in his closing statement. Too little, too late with your attempt to pull the heart strings after being bone dry all night.

10:33 McCain tries to match Obama with his absent military father. Even worse.

10:34 Brokaw tells the candidates to get the hell out of the way of his tele-prompter so he can sign off and go get his drink on. I feel his pain!

I think I would have had more fun sitting in the dentist's chair than watching that debate. Lame!

SNL Keeps Firing on all Cylinders (at least when it comes to the Election)!

Last night's Saturday Night Live saw Tina Fey again reprising her role as Sarah Palin in their lampooning of the VP debate. They again hit it out of the park, of course they didn't have to write much script. If only Sarah Palin realized what she says is such a comedic gold mine. Queen Latifah plays moderator Gwen Ifill.

The look on Queen Latifah's face at about 4 minutes left to go pretty much sums up what much of us were thinking during the entire debate. There is even a line at the end about using maverick as part of a drinking game. They are on to you Roadtripper! Maybe you should be an SNL writer.

A Much Needed Post-Debate Moment Of Zen

For everyone who needed a laugh to decompress.

I Am Actually Ashamed To Have Ovaries Right Now

Not even thirty minutes in to the VP debate and I have already yelled myself hoarse. It started when Gov. Palin blew a kiss to the audience and asked if she could call Sen. Biden Joe. Nothing but downhill since. I am too irritated to do a proper live blog but here are some observations.

New drinking game. Take a shot every time that woman says any of the following:
Main Street
Joe Six Pack
maverick
soccer mom
hockey mom
the great state of Alaska
God Bless
around the kitchen table
darn

Biden is a trying his best to be charming and not lose his temper but you can tell he is totally gritting his teeth when he smiles.

I like how Palin keeps trying to pass herself off as middle class. Did you know her and her husband's income was $250K the year she ran for mayor? I have never been to Alaska before. Maybe that is considered middle class there.

She just referenced that shitty chant "Drill, baby, drill." You can tell she really thinks that is cute. I think it makes me want to puke.

Biden reminds me of an old fart that kept hitting on me in a hotel bar once. Kind of creepy...

9:36 I need to start putting times on here. Sorry I didn't think of that before. What kind of shop are we running here? Maybe that drinking game was a bad idea... darn!

9:40 Do cameramen usually film the candidates from behind as much as they do when one of them is in a skirt? I have seen more shots of Palin's legs than anything else.

9:41 Don't start the crying game, Govenor. I know your son is heading over to Iraq but so is Biden's. He isn't crying so put on a pair of big girl panties, sista.

9:44 Biden is throwing it back on her. Yup... McCain did vote against funding for troops too. Palin looks surprised by that fact. Did she not even bother to take a peek at the voting record of her boss? Ha ha! You Republicans don't have a patent on patriotism.

9:45 Palin can't even pronounce Taliban. Jeez!

9:49 Definition of diplomacy "Hard work by dedicated people." Thanks, Gov. Palin.

9:54 Biden is firing on all cylinders when speaking about Israel. Palin's response is how happy she is that they both love Israel. Awww! Maybe she will buy the world a Coke next.

10:02 I can't wait to hear how the conservative pundits try to spin this debate in their favor. This is Biden's house tonight.

10:04 Palin in now trying to amp up the cute factor... too bad we are talking about foreign spending. Not a very cute topic. Golly-gee! Tina Fey is going to have a field day with all this material.

10:07 Biden was just asked how he would run the White House if he ever had to take the presidency. Speaking of, check out this shit from Ann Coulter where she basically calls Obama assassination bait. The Secret Service needs to put Coulter on a watch list. Bitch is crazy.

10:10 Wasilla, AK versus Scranton, PA as both try to out-blue-collar each other.

10:13 She just gave a "shout out" to some kids at an elementary school. She is such a hip soccer mom... except the term "shout out" saw its hey-dey about a decade ago.

10:14 Palin just said McCain "tapped her". Hee hee! Pardon me... I am 13 again.

10:17 Biden just called Dick Cheney "the most dangerous Vice President in history". Oooh...burn!

10:19 Palin just said that her and the old fart stand for equal rights. LOL! Is that why McCain keeps voting against the equal pay bill for women?

10:21 Biden sees Palin's soccer mom card and raises her by playing the single dad after being widowed card. Palin blinks rapidly, folds and switches tactics by sing-songing McCain's praises again.

10:23 Biden is now calling out Palin's constant referral to McCain as a maverick. Sure, if maverick = old dude who doesn't want to change anything.

10:24 Who's house? Biden's house. Whooooooo's house? Biden's house. (Tell me someone gets the Run DMC reference, please!)

10:29 Closing statements. Palin goes first. Her voice is like nails against a chalkboard. I thought McCain was against using torture.

10:30 I wish they would quit talking about how great it is to finally meet. Get a room, you two.

10:31 If only Biden's eyes weren't so shifty. It makes him look like an untrustworthy, dirty old man who picks up women in hotel bars.

Whew! It's over. I need a cigarette and another drink. I am stoked that Biden mopped the floor with Palin's ass. That was awesome.

10:34 Hey! Is that Palin's knocked up daughter I see?

At least 5 Minutes of Amusement

Stuck at work bored out of your mind? Stuck in bed with the flu like me? Or maybe you are just looking for something funny (at least until tonight's VP Candidate debate)? I have just the thing! By following the link below, you too can find out what your name would be if you were in the wacky Palin family where you had siblings named Track, Trig, Bristol, and Willow! Yes it's the Sarah Palin Name Generator and provided me with a few minutes of chuckles, key when you are down with the flu you got by taking the flu shot.

http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html

If I was a Palin (thank goodness I am not), my name would be Sport Grunt Palin. What's Yours?

I Heart Political Satire

Is it just me or is Saturday Night Live on fire this election?

Barack the Vote and Barack a Beer

Went to the Flying Saucer (awesome bar, good beer i.e. no miller, budweiser, or coors in sight) for their weekly glass night. Tonight's was Vote night: your choice of either the Barack Obama or John McCain glass with your choice of tasty lager. Of course there was no contest on whose I got:

Any residue you see on the inside of the glass is Guiness, drink of the Gods that is. So don't forget to do what the glass says: vote come November, and remember life is too short to drink bad beer!

R U There, God? It Really Is Margaret Here. Please Send Help!

I know the above picture is probably a Photo-shop project. If it were real, it wouldn't be the bikini that would bother me. If a 44 year old woman can rock a bikini that well, I am completely willing to give an "atta girl!" What bothers me is the insane objectification of women with guns. I have been subjected to numerous news clips of staged photo-ops with Sarah Palin at the shooting range, fondling a semi-automatic while falling back on that beauty pageant smile of hers, not a hair of that Peggy Hill bouffant out of place. Each time, I fly in to a blind rage. This is supposed to be an example of a strong woman? She looks like the new limited edition Guns & Ammo Barbie.

What is it about women and guns that makes men go nuts? Even more perplexing is why do women feed in to this insane behavior? I stayed awake long enough during Freshman Pysch 101 to hear about Freud's asinine theories of phallic symbols and penis envy. I think Freud just needed to get laid more often.

I served in the Army so I am no stranger to guns. Hell, I even own one. I take anytime where I am armed very seriously. I am not trying to be sexy or cute. I am not trying to get laid. Mine is owned for self-defense only. Not exactly sexy time.

Anytime a woman (or man, for that matter) picks up a gun, they need to respect it. Gun ownership is a double-edged sword. Yes, it is our American right (as any NRA enthusiast will tell you). But, as with any right, comes responsibility. Take it seriously. And quit catering to caveman fantasies.

Is This An Election Or A Prime-Time Soap Opera?

First came the whispers that Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin had faked her last pregnancy and that her 5 month old son was actually her grandson born to her eldest daughter. How very Bree Van de Kamp-Hodge a la Desperate Housewives.

What's next... an affair with the gardener or a mysterious box buried in the back yard?

While watching Hurricane Gustav coverage today, I saw news break that Palin's 17 year old daughter is in fact currently in the family way (and in true Protestant Republican fashion, will soon be marrying the baby's daddy). Despite cries of "leave the poor girl alone", I do have this to say to her mother: How's that preaching abstinence only high school sex education program that you advocate in your home state of Alaska working out? Yeah... not so well, huh? Maybe some free condoms in the nurse's office wouldn't have been such a bad idea after all.

Nice Try, Old Man

But it is going to take more than another pair of ovaries to sway women who supported Clinton. This is the best you could come up with... REALLY?!?!? PUMAs (party unity my ass!) are bitter... not stupid!